THANK YOU

I've realized I have been asking for a lot lately, God. I wanted to take a moment to thank you!
Thank you for where I am today. I've gone through a lot in my life and most of the time that's the only thing I can focus on. Instead of thinking "Look at all the crap I've gone through!", I should be thinking, "Wow, look at all the crap I've MADE IT through!". I thank you for the heart breaks that taught me a lesson. Thank you for loving me through my doubts and wavering faith. Thank you for the privilege of going to school. Thank you for my family, my friends, and my job. Thank you for my many talents. And above all, thank you for giving me a beautiful mind, spirit, and soul :)

Direction

I have no clue what I am doing with my life anymore. I always had a clear plan but sometimes plans fall through and force you to make a plan B....or in my case, plan C and D. God, I need you to point me in the right direction. Should I go, should I stay, should I major in this or that? I used to have a little idea of my future, but now I'm going in blind. I know you want me to be happy, please help me achieve this. I put my trust in you, Lord and I need you to take the reigns on my life and steer me where you want me to go. Just the "picking a major" thing is stressing me out. Picking the wrong major, like I did this past year, can change my life for the worse. I don't want to be unhappy in my career. I want to make a difference.

Love,

Your Lost Daughter.

Call it a miracle!

Hey gang! I have three blogs and im trying to post something on all of them. Ive been gone a while, I need to revisit writing, do something familiar in the midst of all these finals for school. 

So I think I may have witnessed a miracle! (or maybe a really big blessing lol) I have a friend who is a nursing student. If you don't know, nursing school is very demanding and difficult. So she works at a hospital and her job told her they were going to fire her this month because her next semester schedule is not good enough. Here she is, scared and frustrated because she wont have a ob soon and the other positions in the hospital she applied for did not hire her. If she didnt get a good paying job, she cant afford school or rent. She would have had to drop out of the nursing program (which is very hard to get into and many people are wanting to get in. Basically, once you leave the program, there's no getting back in), which means if she were to go back to school she would have to change her major completely! Anyways, she had been worrying about it for a while and I had prayed for her but one night she seemed just ready to lose it. That night I prayed my hardest and begged God to bless her and help her find a job. The next day she gets a call that the HR person who called and told her she didn't get the job made a mistake! Now im not going to lie, I have never heard of someone accidentally telling someone they didn't get a job, and this is why I thought this was so amazing. 

Moral of the story: God does some amazing things. You may say she just got lucky, maybe so, but I believe it was a blessing and God's way of showing off lol. 

This does not mean bad things don't happen. If someone is asking for help, do not tell them "oh just pray about it". When They give the impression that if you pray about something suddenly you will get whatever you need. If I have no money and about to be homeless next week and im asking for help, do not tell me to pray about it and not help me. Of course I will pray about it, but im sure God's not going to be mad if you offer me to stay at your house. Maybe you ARE the blessing God sent. 

Clarity

I have always wanted to kind of be the perfect teenage girl. I have always tried to make the right decisions ALL the time. say the right things. think the right things. do everything perfectly. please everyone! But in the process, I have screwed myself over. In the process I have made many wrong decisions. Im starting to have more and more of a tough time being who you made me to be God. God, im getting confused and I need your help. Please give me clarity on what you want me to do. Give me clarity on my life and what i need to do. Help me to clear away all the clutter away from my eyes to help me see more clearly God.

Persistence

I need help with following things through...I promised myself I would try to read a little bit of the bible everyday until I finished it all. I did well for a while....and then stopped. I was in poetry for a while...and now I havent written one in such a long time. I have started 3 BOOKS!...and gotten really far into them...then stopped. I used to draw all the time...and now i havent even doodled in such a long time. God help me to be true to myself and help me to find myself again. Help me to find my happiness again. Help me to use my talents that you have given me. I just want to feel myself again...to breathe again Help me to do that God.
Love,
Your suffocating daughter

Image

I'm told over and over again that I am fine the way I am. You made me like this and I should be happy. But God, im not happy at all. For years I have always struggled with the way I looked and God I have asked for your help over and over again. The only time I was happy with my weight was when I stopped eating for a few months. You know what im talking about. But God I am really trying hard not to go down that road again. Im tired of coming to tears because of it. So i ask, please help me to see the beauty that you put in me. Help me to see the beauty that everyone else sees. I am begging you because this is tearing me down and I dont know what else to do. I am screaming out for help.
Love,
Your struggling daughter

Happiness

The past 2 days me and my boyfriend have not had a fight. Everything is well and I really pray it continues. Its usually 2 or 3 days then we have another fight. I really dont want that to happen! God I ask that you work in my relationship and help me to know if this is the relationship that you want me to have. In church, when they teach about marriage and a healthy relationship, they say "endurance, endurance, endurance!", "Stick with your partner and work it out!" but how much are we supposed to "endure" before we realize theres just no love. How much is a girl in a abusive relationship suppose to endure before she ends up in the hospital? I may be taking the wrong view on this Lord, but please give me clarification.
Love,
Your daughter in love